Heads of lettuce

Rinky Dink Prius was just reelected to be the Chair of the National Republican Party. Rinky said he’s really intrigued with the political advantages for the GOP of awarding electoral votes on the basis of Congressional Districts in Democratic dominant states. Its perfectly legal. Tiny Maine has been awarding its three electoral votes this way since before I was in high school. All states have been free to do this since day one of the Constitution. I haven’t heard Rinky Dink enthusing about this entirely legal change for Texas, however.

At his reelection he stressed that the GOP just was running out of voters willing to let them stay in charge of the federal government. He acknowledged that the GOP’s tactic of extending a middle finger to gays, immigrants, funny colored people, baby killers, those suffering from vaginas, as well as cripples and people who don’t like Ann Coulter just wasn’t working. I didn’t hear everything he said but presume he did not stress the Party’s desperate measures to jail potential Democratic voters and force others to stand in line for hours on end outdoors before being allowed to vote.

Sharon Day who was reelected his co-chair wittily said she would talk to a head of lettuce if it could get the party more votes. She did not mention her interest in having their buyers casting votes for lettuce heads after having them registered as “heads of household.”

It must be a terrible cross to bear for today’s GOP that some white people still vote for Democrats. Don’t these people realize that by doing so they are every bit the race traitors that the so called “Freedom Riders” were when they tried to impose interracial busses on the Deep South back in the 1960’s? Thank God there are a couple suck up blacks like the wife cheating, pizza guy that the GOP can hide behind for the purposes of establishing plausible deniability.

I’m a little uncomfortable writing like this. My going on ad nauseum about the putrescence of the Party in unproofread blog posts won’t exactly ease my reintegration into the GOP should I really attempt it. I don’t even think they would welcome me as a head of lettuce.

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