I’ve fussed in recent posts about all the posting I feel like doing. Every day that passes without my fingers flying drives me a little nuts. I’ll write a cleaned up version of a crude joke I found hilarious when I was 13 or 14 and tell you afterwards which of the jokes characters I currently feel like.
So, there were these three scientists who wanted to know how long a pig could go without s _ _ _ ing.
They put a plug up the pig’s wazzoo so it could only eat but not eliminate its meals. For weeks they watched from a safe distance as the pig swelled up bigger and bigger. When the pig was huge but before it stopped ballooning up the scientists decided to bring their experiment to an end. However, by this time the pig was so swollen they were worried about the consequences of pulling the plug. So the found a monkey and trained it to pull plugs out of different objects by rewarding it with a treat afterward. When the monkey was sufficiently trained they brought it to the pig and stood back as far as they could to watch the result.
Weeks later the three scientists woke up in a hospital recovering from terrible injuries. As they regained consciousness they began comparing notes when one asked the others what their last memory was before waking up.
“Gallons and gallons of piss,” said the first scientist.
“Oceans and oceans of s_ _ _ said the second scientist. Then he turned to the first scientist and asked him what his last memory was.
“All I remember is that monkey trying to put the plug back in”
So which character in this metaphor do I most identify with? The pig of course.
