Just because it was from the April 1st…

Reader Weekly doesn’t mean its not true. (Sent to me by a friend)

Proctor Schools:The Green Plan Johnson Controls Recommends Improvements.

Breaking News! The Proctor school board has authorized a program of school modernization to the tune $437 million dollars After an impassioned presentation by JCI this Proctor school district realize that if they don’t modernize, they will lose students to adjacent and surrounding school districts. JCI guaranteed the school district that by updating their schools they will not only retain their student base, but they may well draw students from communities such as Duluth of the St. Louis Co. school district. JCI further indicated that for the $437 mil “Green Plan” investment, Proctor is guaranteed to have air conditioning in every classroom.
After careful analysis, JCI’s study of the demographics led them to the conclusion that Proctor needs all new schools, but located very near to their existing locations. For example the new high school will be just across the street from the current outdated facility.
JCI further calculates that it will only take 5000 more students for the Proctor School District to recover the expense of updating the delapitated structures.

(There’s more)

In related news, JCI is pleased to announce they have promoted Dr. Keith Dixon to position of superintendent of Proctor School District. Dixon has a long track record of working within the community to maximize the initiatives benefitting JCI to the maxam his previous employment reading in Fairmont MN, Duluth MN have also worked to achieve great income returns for JCI charts control spokesman Fred Flinstone is positive that Dr. Dixon will make a similar contribution to the benefits of JCI and his new position as head of schools in prox

(There appears to be some typos in this but you get the gist.)

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