Laxative High School

It is unthinkable that any professional engineer, planner, landscaper, or contractor could think that the Ordean site was suitable for a high school of 1600 students crammed as they will be into a postage stamp with a surprise football stadium. Worse than unthinkable it’s embarrassing.

I’ve been trying to come up with a sensible explanation as to why safety issues, neighborhood blight and increasing run off into the North Shore could be contemplated by any sensible person let alone a professional. Of course there is a sensible explanation – money. Money like prunes is a great purgative.

Dr. Dixon describes Ordean as his lynch-pin and he’s lied up a storm to push it out by paying a whole raft of professionals to paint this turd gold so that he can insist that it’s the most appetizing dish since foie gras.

Money, $51 million of it, is the laxative that will pave over this forested little postage stamp and crown it with school that Duluth will be stuck with for the next fifty years. It reminds me of that little Dutch girl who thought it would be cool to have 56 black stars tattooed onto her face–until she took her face home to Daddy. That’s a high price to pay for three years’ worth of transferring money from people on fixed incomes to contractors.

Money explains why a respectable company could walk onto the Ordean site wearing blinders and report back that it will be a fine place to stick a high school in their Environmental Action Worksheet (a preliminary review). Dr. Dixon is crossing his fingers that the City’s Planning Staff are too cowed by the panting of all the contractors and construction unions to recommend a well-deserved and full blown Environmental Impact Study that could delay Ordean for a year.

Dr. Dixon once promised Ordean’s families that their children would have another year in Ordean but Dr. Dixon’s not the sort of fellow to let a promise stop him from his juggernaut to build Laxative High. He’s described Ordean as his “lynch-pin” and the prospect of a new school board voting to put a high school in a more sensible location moved Dr. Dixon into high gear and JCI to grease the Planning Commission’s wheels. And now both insist that ramping up construction will save the taxpayers oodles of money.

A few East Duluth neighbors raised a little money (aided by Let Duluth Vote) to hire attorney Grant Merritt to request that the Planning Commission grant an environmental review. When Merritt pointed out that it was the City Council not the Planning Commission that as the RGU, “responsible governmental unit,” had the final say on ordering an EIS, JCI leapt to action. They couldn’t risk letting elected officials scuttle the Red Plan so they persuaded the Council to hand over their power irrevocably to the more pliable Planning Commission. It would be a lot easier to stack the deck in the non-elective Planning Commission. For instance, the Commission’s most recent appointee is Drew Digby who gave the Chamber of Commerce a breathless report on how the Red Plan will give Duluth Architects great statewide exposure. Mr. Digby has made it clear he’s eager to cast a vote on the Environmental Impact Study.

A year ago the City Council was glad to rid themselves of the Ordean complaint magnet but I can’t help but wonder whether they’re so happy about their self-emasculation today.

With a neutered City Council Duluth’s incestuous little construction industry hopes the Planning Commissioners will put a clothespin over their noses and expedite Eastern Duluth’s Laxative High School. Dr. Dixon wants to put his golden turd right where the people live and he’s got plenty of laxative ($) to get it done.

Mike Akervik, a fellow I served with on the School Board is now the Chairman of the Planning Commission. In the years I served with Mike he was a mystery to me. It was almost always impossible to predict how Mike would vote on major issues despite his penchant to speak about them forcefully. That’s because his convictions rarely escaped from his rhetoric.

As Chairman of the Planning Commission, Mike can point to his former school board experience which suggests any decisions he makes on Ordean will be based on his concern for the well-being of our schools. But it was a little worrying when he gave the City Council a tongue lashing last week. He told the City Councilors that they had no business overriding the Planning Commission’s decisions. Ah yes, the Commission made up of citizens giving of their free time to better their community and who, incidentally, have a million little ties to associates in the building industry. And guess what? The Red Plan no longer seems to be about providing our children a good education. Nope. Now its chief virtue is in growing money starting with the pockets of the Planning Commission’s friends and business associates. What a shame it would be to let a little hiccup, like an unwelcome environmental study, interfere with all that wonderful mulitiplier affect.

Ordean’s shortcomings are so obvious that the trained professionals in the City’s Planning Department can’t feel good about the site. The question is will they dare express their doubts and put all that wonderful Red Plan multiplier affect laxative at risk. If they OK the shoddy EAW handed them by Dr. Dixon they’ll be giving the Planning Commissioners cover to make a decision the staff knows is wrong.

Most Ordean neighbors probably worry that their homes will be devalued by having a Laxative High crammed in next to them. They also understand that a new school board will not feel obligated to honor the existing Board’s promise to avoid eminent domain. That promise will evaporate the instant a child is harmed by the chaotic traffic Ordean High will unleash. When that happens Ordean neighbors can expect the District to offer them no more for their depressed homes valuations that Laxative High has shackled them to. But by golly, they’ll also get some moving expenses.

So, the Ordean neighbors have put up a good fight. The Planning Department has to consider about 50 written objections before making its recommendations. As a result, the EIS decision was handed an unexpected month-long delay. That forced the District to postpone demolition of Ordean’s interior by a month. It’s a hopeful sign but for two years the Red Planners have successfully quashed one hope after another.

I’ve heard that many Ordean neighbors are contemplating selling and moving on. Good luck to them when they all put up “for sale” signs simultaneously. Maybe FI Salter Realty will offer them some assistance.

When Mike Akervik served on the School Board he never missed a chance to remind other Board members that his alma mater, Morgan Park High School, was closed by the people out East who then ran the Board. I’d hate to think the idea of saddling Eastern Duluth with a crappy high school was lodged in the back of his head but poetic justice can exert a strong force and Mike sure does want the City Council to butt out of Planning Commission decisions.

Send your check and a pledge today.

About the author