Loren Martell, the chronicler of the Duluth School Board, is always a little behind the curve in reporting Board meetings what with the once-a-week publishing schedule of the Duluth Reader. This April Fools print edition of the Reader has none of his coverage of Board but their online site does have Loren’s coverage of the March meeting which took place on March 22nd or twelve days ago. It was a quiet meeting and I was so well behaved that my name only appears once in Loren’s coverage. Art Johnson had several mentions but he is as saintly as I. On the often difficult questions related to the Budget Art is quoted as saying, “I’d like to thank administration, I think this was a good start. I think this was the most information we got in this time of the budget cycle since I’ve been on the Board…”
But the truly interesting stories to look forward to are those covering the Community forum last Monday on the sale of Central to the Duluth Public Schools Academy or rather its leasing authority the Tischer Creek Building Company and the following meeting on Thursday slamming shut any further consideration of the same.
However, I picked up the Reader today and giddily read John Ramos’s coverage of the vexing issue of playground mulch. I hope the Reader will forgive me for sharing this portion of his column in its entirety:
School board considers new playground mulch
After hearing from parents who were concerned about the safety of the shredded tire mulch currently in use on playgrounds, the Duluth school board considered a proposal to replace the tire mulch with dollar bills generated by Red Plan savings.
“We have more than enough to cover all the playgrounds,” said superintendent Bill Gronseth. “To tell you the truth, storage is becoming an issue with all our extra money. We’ve tried everything—doubling everyone’s salaries, reducing class sizes to eight students per, offering lobster and caviar for lunch, but the money just keeps pouring in. We’re filling up the clock tower at Old Central now, but that’s only a temporary solution.”
“Who knew, when we embarked on the half-billion-dollar adventure called the Red Plan, that it would give us so much so fast?” squealed board chair Rosie Loeffler-Kemp, clapping her hands. “I doubt we’ll have to raise taxes again for two or three decades.”
“And some people thought we’d see double-digit increases every year!” laughed Annie Harala. “The sillies just didn’t believe the promises that were made.” “Imagine falling into a nice soft pile of cash,” sighed David Kirby. “Using this money for our children’s safety is really the best thing we could do.”
The board will vote on the playground proposal next week, along with a resolution to purchase a fleet of helicopters. Both measures are expected to pass unanimously.
