Well no. It wasn’t Malkovich doing an interview. It was me.
I had an appointment to explain myself to the Trib’s lonely Education reporter Jana Hollingsworth yesterday. I managed to stick up half a dozen signs along Kenwood Avenue in the forty minutes before the interview but by the end of the interview I had run out of fumes to keep moving. Maybe that why I got so weepy.
I hadn’t been able to sleep the night before and drove up the North shore at 2 to look at the stars. I’d heard there might be Northern Lights and it was a temperate 61 degrees with no moon to dim the Milky Way. I saw the Way alright but no Aurora. I did manage to see one nice meteor streak through the heavens which drew an approving “Ahhhhhh” from me but then I headed home.
The day before I had blogged extensively about the teacher’s contract but I didn’t want to add anything too soon which would push those posts back out of sight. Well its been three days and I’ve had 1,000 visitors, many of whom are likely Duluth teachers. I don’t mind letting them disappear in the void now. I need more fresh material.
So Jana, who claims to read the blog, poor girl, asked me why I was running. Being a slave to my slogan about “honesty” I searched my head and dug deep to give her an answer. I probably dug a little deeper than my frantic state of campaigning left me capable of plumbing. Too many nights with too little sleep. I landed on the sorry tale of my futile attempt to become a teacher. I struck out at the job three times. My last strike took place as my Dad was dying of cancer. I had the onerous and solemn duty to tell Dad that his oldest son, the one he used to brag about so extravagantly, had gotten his sorry butt canned for the third time.
I teared up as I told Jana that just before his death I had to hear my Dad tell me, “Sometimes Harry, I think you have a will to fail.” I let my Dad down just before he was to meet his maker. I was surprised that the interview had taken this turn but was unembarrassed. I’ve told myself that my subsequent career has been an attempt to atone for letting my Dad down. It may help explain why I never give up. The interview took thirty minutes and I can only stay maudlin so long. Eventually my mood switched to playful and I managed to ease Jana into a hearty laugh. .
I asked Jana to make a copy of the tape recording because I thought I’d like my kids to hear it since they were very young at my Father’s death. I thought it would give them a sense of how important my Dad was for me because I’ve not really every mentioned it to them. I told Jana I wanted it to embarrass them when I’m dead.
Just before my Dad died I asked him to record some stories and personal reminiscences on a tape recorder I’d given him. He wasn’t much for electronic gadgetry but I asked him to try it in my presence so he gave the device one shot. He never picked it up again to complete the task I’d set him to. The only snippet I have of his voice, other than the one in my head, is something like, “this will be a very interesting project.” If Jana lives up to her promise I’ll have leave them more of my voice for my children to remember me by than that.
I’m very curious to see how she will report the interview…….not to put any pressure on you Jana.
