{"id":33390,"date":"2022-05-12T16:14:01","date_gmt":"2022-05-12T21:14:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lincolndemocrat.com\/?p=33390"},"modified":"2022-05-12T16:14:01","modified_gmt":"2022-05-12T21:14:01","slug":"my-not-so-theoretical-campaign","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lincolndemocrat.com\/?p=33390","title":{"rendered":"My (not so) theoretical campaign"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Today&#8217;s column in the Reader<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/live.staticflickr.com\/65535\/52052964914_2e0014810b_z.jpg\" alt=\"\" \/><br \/>\n<em>Picture caption: The first page of Harry\u2019s campaign website: www.weltyforcongress.com<\/em><\/p>\n<p>When I was ten I watched a TV western about an upstart kid who wanted to marry the daughter of a small town\u2019s Mayor. The Mayor was agin\u2019 it. The kid had no money. But the wiley upstart made a bet with his would be father-in-law. If he started the day without a single possession to his name and failed to raise five hundred dollars by day\u2019s end he\u2019d leave town but, if he secured the money he could marry his sweetheart. Seeing an easy way to get rid of the kid the Mayor shook on the deal. Then the kid started stripping his clothes off. <\/p>\n<p>The startled mayor asked what the hell the kid was doing. \u201cI said I\u2019d start with nothing,\u201d the kid explained. \u201cOf course, everyone knows I\u2019m sweet on your girl so my walking around stark naked will embarrass your family. But,\u201d he added with a wink, \u201cif you give me fifty dollars I could buy some respectable cloths and spare you some embarrassment.\u201d Of course, the screen writers made sure the upstart got his $500 and the girl by show\u2019s end.<\/p>\n<p>I liked that story. It appeals to me all the more as I consider the million dollars of dark money that Congressman Pete Stauber is starting with and the $2,000 my wife is willing to let me spend. Half of mine is gone already. Poor Pete. <\/p>\n<p>Like that upstart I\u2019ve been stripping naked for the readers of the Duluth Reader for twenty years since I wrote Monkeyworms the column I brought back last week. I\u2019ve also been aiming at Congress. I started by running against a competent Democrat who brought millions of federal dollars home to the Eighth District. Then I ran against Pete twice for holding Donald Trump\u2019s purple Koolaid cups. Now I\u2019m running against Pete for swallowing.<\/p>\n<p>When powerful people commit an outrage I speak up. I did it when the Duluth School Board denied voters a referendum on the Red Plan as though they were Texas Legislator\u2019s hiding ballot boxes from black voters. When Trump raised a mob to overturn a presidential election my fury could not be contained. <\/p>\n<p>I won\u2019t be an official candidate until I file for office between May 17th and May 30th. I\u2019ll need to get the signatures of 1,000 patriots during those two weeks. Anyone wanting to help me gather signatures will find petitions at my front and back doors. I\u2019ll drop them off or mail them to anyone who emails me at: harrywelty@gmail.com.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve put an online campaign together that doesn\u2019t depend on millions from from anonymous billionaires. My 14-year-old grandson taught me how to podcast. I\u2019ve already uploaded broadcasts for twenty days straight on Spotify. To listen go to: www.weltyforcongress.com. You will see the same handsome fellow with a microphone in his hands that you see above this column. Press the \u201cSpotify\u201d on his chest and you will get an earful. My sister who won a state championship in speech listened to it and told me that Sympathy for a Mass Murdereer  was great. I hate listening to myself so I keep my podcasts mercifully brief and to the point.<\/p>\n<p>My Reader columns will come to an end when I\u2019m a candidate. Its longstanding Reader policy. Once they disappear I\u2019ll try to rustle up enough money to put a little ad on my page 11 to let readers know where they can read that week\u2019s column online. I hope it doesn\u2019t cost too much. I haven\u2019t saved much from my writing for the Reader.  (That\u2019s a joke Bob!)<\/p>\n<p>And my wife Claudia won\u2019t get off cheap. I\u2019ll be taking our only car across one the biggest Congressional Districts in the nation so she\u2019ll need to buy a second car. Its not fair for her to have to put up with my 20th campaign. They\u2019ve been tough on my family. When I finally won a school board race after four tries my daughter was asked how she felt. She said that for once she wouldn\u2019t need to wear a paper bag over her head in school. At least my children never had a Dad who supports treason.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t envy Pete. He got fewer votes than the Democratic candidate did in 2020\u2019s primary and this time I\u2019m gunning for him. If I can persuade Independents to take advantage of their right to vote for a patriot in the Republican primary and if Democrats vote for me to give their Democrat an easier Republican to beat and if the ten percent of Republicans who are quietly appalled by the Trump cult vote for me Pete\u2019s million will do him little good.<br \/>\nAnd I expect some help from young voters who are watching the green Earth inherited by Baby Boomers turn to ashen waste. I knocked on 1250 UMD dorm rooms recently and got rave reviews about my environmental stand. Like my Reader columns it ended:<\/p>\n<p>Everything Harry writes that is not about the imminent destruction of Earth as we knew it is superfluous. But, he does prattle on at lincolndemocrat.com.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Today&#8217;s column in the Reader Picture caption: The first page of Harry\u2019s campaign website: www.weltyforcongress.com When I was ten I watched a TV western&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[47,133,109],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lincolndemocrat.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33390"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lincolndemocrat.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lincolndemocrat.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lincolndemocrat.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lincolndemocrat.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=33390"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lincolndemocrat.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33390\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":33391,"href":"https:\/\/lincolndemocrat.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33390\/revisions\/33391"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lincolndemocrat.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=33390"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lincolndemocrat.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=33390"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lincolndemocrat.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=33390"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}