The $5,000 filing floor for filing with the FEC

A couple days ago the Trib’s Brady Slater called to ask me about my FEC filing statement a couple days before the candidate’s campaigns were required to disclose how much money they had raised to date. I told Brady I hadn’t filed one because I only had been given one donation for $40.00.

Claudia told me that I would have to deal with the rigmarole for filing for Congress. (She has helped me keep my reports straight in recent years) However, I only to keep from chewing my fingernails up to my wrist as Donald Trump merrily makes a mockery of 230 years of hallowed American experience. I sort of figured that I would not have to fuss around with Federal filing and it turns out that this will probably be the case. I didn’t bother finding out because I figured that the Federal Elections Commission would at least send me a packet after I filed in the Minnesota Secretary of State’s office.

Its been a month and no one’s contacted me. Well its 2 AM on July 4th and after hearing how our new NATO allies are behaving in Poland I couldn’t sleep so I crawled out of bed and decided to take a peak at the FEC’s website. Sure enough I (or my committee of one) only have to file after I’ve raised $5,000. If my donation button starts getting pushed I’m prepared to file but I’m not breaking a sweat to raise money. Oh I raised $5,000 easily to run for the Duluth School Board last year but I did that to keep a clear conscience. I’ve made the school board my life for the past twenty-five years. During a time of crisis with an incompetent Superintendent I felt a responsibility to campaign my heart out. I knew that because of the forces Donald Trump had awakened I would have to work like a dog. I even tried to win the DFL nomination. Sadly, the folks who overran the DFL convention knew nothing about the School Board and the old timey DFLer’s had it in for me. A lot of old school board members I’ve found fault with in the past were at the convention getting neck rubs from our Superintendent. (That’s not a joke)

I’ve always campaigned with my quick wits and considerable research more than money. I had earlier told Mr. Slater that I was looking for lightning in a bottle. So far there are lots of clouds but no strikes.

Here is the plot of a television show I saw back when I was a boy scout in Topeka, Kansas, that has stuck with me.

In an old western town a young man has been told by his sweetheart that her father won’t let her marry him because he has no money and no prospects in life. That sets the young man on a mission. He takes off all his clothes and wraps a blanket around himself in his hotel room. Then he calls for his hoped for father-in-law to talk with him. The ardent suitor tells the Father that he will make a small fortune in 24 hours to prove that he has prospects AND he will do it starting as naked as a jay bird. The father scoffs, of course, and asks how he could possibly accomplish this. The young man tells the father to stake him with a tidy sum to by a respectable suit. When the Father starts to laugh that idea off the suitor explains that he means business. If the father doesn’t give him this stake the suitor will simply walk out naked humiliating the father since everyone in town already knows that the suitor aims to marry his daughter. The threat works and the Father buys him a respectable change of clothes so that he can start raising his small fortune.

I don’t recall how he got the rest of the fortune but I haven’t forgotten his chutzpah. I wish my congressional campaign could work like that. But that would require local Republicans to be horrified that a toady for President Trump was about to give our spoiled seven-year-old of a Commander and Chief one more vote from his cowed Congressional prostitutes. Talk about a far fetched plot line!